I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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