I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
