you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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