I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
