I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
