so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
