I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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