i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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