will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
