You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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