it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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