i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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