Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
