dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
