She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
