Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
