Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
