Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
