ya dads aren't the best wingmen
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
