So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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