Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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