Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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