stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
