I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
