Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
