Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
