laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
