haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Randomize
