we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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