Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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