just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
