Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
