We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
