i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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