The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
