He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
