i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
we're making bets on your personal life
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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