Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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