What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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