it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Little spoons don't ask big questions
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
