Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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