Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
