Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
