Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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