I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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