About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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