I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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