I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Randomize
