He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
