Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
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