physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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