it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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